Enquiring minds are used to dopey headlines near the supermarket checkout.\u00a0 Stories like \u201cMan Cuts Off Own Head And Lives\u201d or \u201cCheerleader Marries Alien Twins\u201d.\u00a0 We all know it\u2019s fake, right?\u00a0 And those goofy New York Post headlines (e.g. \u201cHunk Flunks,\u201d ridiculing JFK Jr. for failing the bar exam for the second time) could only come from a second-rate rag, right?\u00a0 No self-respecting news outlet would stoop so low.\u00a0 Right?<\/p>\n
If only.\u00a0 Yesterday, scientists announced that the collagen content in the bones of T. rex was very similar to that of modern chickens, which made for some great low-brow copy.\u00a0 Over at CNN.com, the headline read, \u201cT. Rex Chicken Family Ties.\u201d\u00a0 Fox News went with \u201cBut Did It Taste Like Chicken?\u201d while MSNBC went with the more succinct, \u201cTastes Like Chicken.\u201d<\/p>\n
Everywhere you look, the Fourth Estate has become fourth-rate.\u00a0 Consider the following sampling of actual PAGE ONE headlines from \u201creal\u201d news organizations, taken over a random 12-hour period:<\/p>\n
\u201cFleeing Suspect Caught After Fake Leg Falls Off\u201d CNN<\/p>\n
\u201cSin City\u2019s Latest Celeb Playgrounds\u201d ABC News<\/p>\n
\u201cLove On The Rocks (Penguin Mating Season)\u201d MSNBC<\/p>\n
\u201cSecrets To Making Crepes\u201d CBS News<\/p>\n
\u201cBest Buy Geek Sued For Taping Shower Girl\u201d Fox News<\/p>\n
We then went scanning the globe, and audited those yuck-meisters over at BBC, EuroNews, Kyodo, Al Jazeera, TASS and TF1.\u00a0 Their hilariously headlined puff pieces are listed below.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Nope, not a one.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Enquiring minds are used to dopey headlines near the supermarket checkout.\u00a0 Stories like \u201cMan Cuts Off Own Head And Lives\u201d or \u201cCheerleader Marries Alien Twins\u201d.\u00a0 We all know it\u2019s fake, right?\u00a0 And those goofy New York Post headlines (e.g. \u201cHunk Flunks,\u201d ridiculing JFK Jr. for failing the bar exam for…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[398,554,802,877],"class_list":["post-323","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-2","tag-enquirer","tag-headlines","tag-media","tag-news"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/323","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=323"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/323\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=323"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=323"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=323"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}