Presenting some seriously slippery summer syllogistics.<\/p>\n
Children are more pliable, more flexible, more resilient and more durable than adults.\u00a0 It\u2019s official.\u00a0 Not because the AMA says so.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t proven by some decades-long research study conducted by orthopedists.\u00a0 And you won\u2019t see it on any life insurance mortality actuarial tables.\u00a0 Nope, you\u2019ll see it later this weekend in a backyard near you.<\/p>\n
Folks will take a long sheet of plastic, and lay it out on the ground.\u00a0 Wet it down with a hose.\u00a0 Even better, slather on some Johnson\u2019s Baby Shampoo.\u00a0 Put on a bathing suit, or just a pair of old shorts.\u00a0 Back up about 20 paces, and sprint as hard as they can.\u00a0 Hurl themselves onto the plastic and pray for dear life there isn\u2019t a stick, or a rock, poking up somewhere.\u00a0 If they\u2019re lucky, they\u2019ll slide madly down the plastic some 100 feet and onto the grass at the far end, in a squiggly squealing heap.\u00a0 Yippee.<\/p>\n
But here\u2019s the official part:\u00a0 kids can do this safely, adults cannot.\u00a0 Who says?\u00a0 The federal government, that\u2019s who.\u00a0 If you look carefully on a box of Slip N Slide, you\u2019ll find the following disclaimer from the Consumer Products Commission, dating back to 1993,\u00a0\u201cThe WHAM-O slides are designed for use by children only. Use by adults and teens has the potential to result in neck injury and paralysis. Because of their weight and height, adults and teenagers who dive onto the water slide may hit and abruptly stop in such a way that could cause permanent spinal cord injury, resulting in quadriplegia or paraplegia.\u201d<\/p>\n
There.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been warned.\u00a0 You\u2019re an adult, a big, dangerous dope.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter how fun it looks.\u00a0 How many gin and tonics you\u2019ve had.\u00a0 Or how hot it is outside.\u00a0 If you decide to go for a slide, you\u2019re on your own with no legal recourse.<\/p>\n
As for your kids, they\u2019re officially indestructible.\u00a0 They can pretty much do anything they want.\u00a0 Including suing WHAM-O.\u00a0 Yippee.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Presenting some seriously slippery summer syllogistics. Children are more pliable, more flexible, more resilient and more durable than adults.\u00a0 It\u2019s official.\u00a0 Not because the AMA says so.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t proven by some decades-long research study conducted by orthopedists.\u00a0 And you won\u2019t see it on any life insurance mortality actuarial tables.\u00a0…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[1127,1183],"class_list":["post-843","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-9","tag-slip-n-slide","tag-summer"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/843","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=843"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/843\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=843"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=843"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quicksilverhg.com\/thequicksliver\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=843"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}