One of the great things about the Internet is that marketing claims just don’t have to be defensible. For example, just google up the phrase, “world’s largest corn maze.”

It is definitely at Adventure Acres, right outside of Dayton, Ohio; it says so right on their website. It’s actually 5 different mazes all mashed together, with over 11.5 miles of trails. And of course they’ve got all the other Halloween attractions like a haunted hayride, picking your own pumpkins, and a tractor-pulled “cow train” for the little ones. But if all that isn’t enough, they’ve got corn cannons. Yup, this is your chance to shoot an ear of corn 500 yards. Which has been described, with no legal review whatsoever, as a “ton of fun.”

The Richardson family of Spring Grove, Illinois might beg to differ, however. That’s because they actually have the world’s largest corn maze; it says so right on their website. And their maze is not only huge, this year it’s in the shape of a Girl Scout (holding badges and cookies!) in celebration of 100 years of Girl Scouts. And if that isn’t enough, you can go for an ORB ride. They strap you into the inside of a huge clear plastic ball and roll you down a ramp (not enough hills in Illinois) and across a field. It’s a lot of fun and totally safe; the website clearly states the ORB is managed by “certified operators.”

But hang on, even in the digital age, there’s still a certain single source of superlatives: The Guinness Book of World Records. And according to Guinness, the largest corn maze is Cool Patch Pumpkins in Dixon, California. These guys have a maze so huge that they provide visitors with GPS coordinates for the entrance, the exit, and several branded stopping points, including a fully-functional Starbucks. They don’t have much else other than pumpkins and scarecrows. Just one really big maze. The BIGGEST maze.  So there!

Okay, what’s a smaller maze to do? Go for style over substance! In a perfect case of applying cutting edge technology to old-school fun, the Kraay family of Lacombe, Alberta, Canada have grown the world’s first fully functional QR-code corn maze. Anybody who wants to visit their farm simply needs to rent an airplane or helicopter, fly over their maze and take a picture, scan the QR code into a cell phone, and it takes them right to the farm’s website, which gives directions on how to drive on out to visit the corn maze. Gosh that’s handy. It may not be the world’s largest corn maze, but it’s certainly the coolest.

(Unless you google up, “coolest corn maze” which takes you to Connors Farms near Salem, Massachusetts, which has a maze in the shape of, um, The Witches of Salem. They don’t have corn cannons, rolling ORBs, Starbucks or QR codes. Just witches.  Real witches. In Salem. Cool.)