OK, OK!, OKAYYYY!  Relax…breathe…it’s almost over…

But before the torment ends next Tuesday, let’s circle back to where we started and see how well our political prognostications held up.  Back in January, we played “What’s in a Name?” with the leading political candidates. Let’s see how well we did.

First, here’s what we deduced about the Democratic candidate HILLARY DIANE RODHAM CLINTON:  HILLARY is from the Latin “hilarious” meaning “cheerful.” DIANE refers to Diana, the competitive virgin huntress, icy goddess of the moon. RODHAM is a bit of bummer, a combination of “grod” meaning “dirty”, and “ham” meaning “town,” resulting in “dirty town.” And CLINTON? Though it conjures up memories of governors and generals, it literally means “fenced settlement.” What’s it all signify? “Hard-driving, giggling, sexually ambivalent woman, with dirt in her background, married into captivity.”

The verdict:: Not a bad encapsulation, though we failed to include “duplicitous,” “opaque,” “paranoid,” or any reference to Benghazi, Benghazi, or even Benghazi.

And now the, um, ah, well, the, ah, so-called Republican candidate DONALD JOHN TRUMP: DONALD is a mighty Scottish “ruler of the world.” JOHN comes from Hebrew and means, “Yahweh is gracious.” And TRUMP is the bridge card that can, out of nowhere, defeat all others, and is also a shortening of “trumpet.” In full combination, the name clearly means, “Man who was given everything by God, has unfair advantages, and uses them to flamboyantly lord over everyone.” Bonus meaning: his true family name, DRUMPF is a Germanization of the French, “Triomph,” meaning, “Everyone else is a loser. SAD.”

The verdict: A blunt and mostly accurate assessment, but we completely whiffed on “tiny, groping hands,” “psychopathic narcissist,” or anything related to a synonym for “cat.”

So there it is, the 2016 campaign in a nutshell. However an even more succinct summary popped up today on the front page of CNN.com.  A simple black banner, empty except for the text, “This political ad has been trashed thanks to HEFTY.” It’s perfect…but what took them so long?

Four more days! Four more days! Four more days!…