NO, it’s a lie!  We at quickSilver are not responsible for Johnny Depp’s crazy behavior.

OK, we admit it, quicksilver is another name for mercury.  And as far back as the Greeks, folks have known that mercury is unique and creepy stuff.  They called it “hydragyrum” or “liquid silver.”  Yes, it has all sorts of magical properties, such as expanding and contracting when the temperature changes.  And, yes, mercury has the power to separate animal fur from animal hide, so that the fur can be wetted and compressed into felt.  And felt is hands-down the most important fabric for use in hat-making, and that hat-making helped turn Milan into the fashion capital of the world.  (That was in the 1700’s, when lots of beaver pelts were being shipped to Europe from America, and needed to be processed.)  So, yes, Milan lent its name to the industry of “millinery” or hat-making, and for the next century the city was awash in mercury.  And all those milliners making all those hats were breathing in felt fibers coated with liquid silver.  So maybe it shouldn’t have surprised anyone that folks exposed all day to a unique and creepy substance might start acting, well, unique and creepy.  They suffered from blurry vision, slurred speech, mental instability and early death.  So much so that “mad as a hatter” became a common phrase by the time Lewis Carroll wrote Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.  And yes, gosh darn it, Johnny Depp plays a hatter in the new film based on that book that premiers this week.  So you could argue that Mercury > Milan > Millinery > Madness > Movie > Maniac.  We GET all that!

But before you blame us, consider:  1. In Old English, “atter” means poison, or anything corrupt.  So the term may have started out as “mad as atter,” meaning a criticism of the general poisoning of the environment as a result of industrialization.  2. The model for Lewis Carroll’s Hatter was NOT a hatter but an eccentric furniture dealer named Theophilus Carter, who was known for standing in his doorway in a top hat; he is not known to have been exposed to mercury.  3. Though Johnny Depp’s character is called “Hatter” and appears in a chapter called, “A Mad Tea Party,” nowhere in the book is he actually called “The Mad Hatter” and the party doesn’t take place at his house.  4.  Depp’s Hatter character, while nuts, exhibits none of the specific physical symptoms of mercury poisoning.  5. Depp has dated Winona Ryder, Kate Moss and Vanessa Paradis.  All beautiful, all certifiable. 6. He has spent the last 5 years portraying Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean, who seems to be suffering the effects of heat stroke, alcoholism and megalomania, and has been at high risk for sexually transmitted diseases, which can lead to dementia.  His primary tool is a magic compass, NOT a thermometer.  7.  Two words:  “Edward Scissorhands.”  8.  Two more:  “Sweeney Todd.”

So, yes, Johnny Depp is insanely good at acting insane.  And, yes, he will probably be a great “Mad Hatter.”  But we at quickSilver protest.  It wasn’t the quicksilver that made him mental.