Man, it’s been a long week…so tired…can’t…stay…awake…

(Eyes close.  Head nods.  20 minutes goes by…)

OK, we’re back!  Raring to go.  But honestly, we’re worried.  About air traffic control.  All these controllers falling asleep on the job.  Planes are going to run into each other, people are going to get hurt.  And it’s not surprising.  Who can blame a person for falling asleep on the overnight shift?  Or if they are working the dreaded “rattler,” working two day shifts, two night shifts, and one overnight shift in the same week? It’s no wonder they are nodding off.

But what’s truly worrisome is the honchos at the FAA.  This week, they announced some new rules to fight controller sleepiness.  The first requires that controllers get a 9-hour break between any two shifts.  That makes some sense.  Then they decided that there should be at least two controllers on the job at any time, even at small regional airports.  That makes less sense.  Some of the controllers who recently fell asleep did so in the presence of other controllers, and many critics feel that doubling up controllers is just paying two expensive employees to do what one failed to do in the first place.

What makes NO sense, however, is the FAA’s flat refusal to let sleepy controllers get the one thing they badly need.  A recent study jointly commissioned by the FAA and the controllers’ union concluded that the best solution for sleepy controllers is to let them get some sleep, in the form of a 20-minute nap.  It’s a solution that works in many other countries around the world.  Sleep specialists agree, pointing to numerous studies that conclude that short naps not only improve performance but can result in better long-term health.  Just 20 minutes and you’re back on your game.

Makes sense.  But Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood is having none of it, and said, thumping his chest:  “On my watch, controllers will not be paid to take naps.”  OK, just so we understand: controllers, on their personal breaks, WILL be paid to smoke cigarettes, eat ham sandwiches, go to the bathroom, play Sudoku, shop online, text the kids, scratch themselves. But if these exhausted…stressed-out people…lie…down…on…the…soft…comfy…couch…and…close…their…eyes……..

THEY’RE FIRED!  Hoo yeah, that’ll keep ’em awake!

Yikes.  With decision-makers like LaHood in charge of our airplane safety, air traffic controllers may not be the only ones who are so nervous they can’t sleep.

Enjoy your flight.