Washington, DC, sometime after midnight…a knock on the door.

ROBERTS: What do you want?

The sound of giggling.

RBG: Oh, C’mon Johnny, it’s us. Let us in. We’ve got champagne!

ROBERTS: Oh, no, you don’t! I’ve got an opinion to write. But I guess you three have gotta come in and taunt me.

KAGAN (entering with two others): You bet we do. But chin up, John, it’s not so bad this time. With Anthony and Stephen on our side, you’ve got plenty of cover. Besides, you never stood a chance.

ROBERTS: Yeah, yeah, I know, and as much as I want to keep our 5-4 streak going, there’s no way I’m gonna be on the losing end of this deal…um, you okay, Sonia?

SOTOMAYOR: Oh, I’m good. *HIC* Really good.

ALL: HAHAHA

ROBERTS: So anyway, here’s what I’m working on, what do you think of this: “Congress passed the Affordable Care Act to improve health insurance markets, not to destroy them. If at all possible, we must interpret the Act in a way that is consistent with the former, and avoids the latter.”

RBG: Hey that’s pretty good! Who’s working on the dissent? Clarence?

ROBERTS: Clarence who?

ALL: HAHAHA…

ROBERTS: No, no, I went around the offices earlier and I found a draft in Tony’s trash. Check this out: he’s calling the decision “interpretive jiggery pokery.”

SOTOMAYOR: I’ll drink to that!

RBG: Sonia!

KAGAN: That’ll score a fist bump from O and FLOTUS…

SOTOMAYOR: Hear, hear! *HIC*

ROBERTS: Alright, alright, that’s enough, ladies. Take your bottle and get outta here. I got lots of work to do to get this thing ready for tomorrow.

And Ruth, by the way, I don’t mind the whole Notorious thing, but do you have to call me Johnny in front of my whole team?

RBG: Not the whole team, boss. I never call you that in front of Sam, or Tony, or Clarence.

ROBERTS: Who’s Clarence?

ALL: HAHAHAHAHA…