Some of you have heard this one before, but it’s so strange it’s worth a review. It’s the story of the famous man who was born on two different days, both of which are always ignored. It’s a story that begins in…

…45 BC. In that year, Julius Caesar creates a new calendar intended to bring standardization and order across the far-flung Roman empire. It was pretty darn good, it outlasted the empire itself and remained the standard for over a millennium. Until…

…1582, when Pope Gregory XIII realizes the world needs something better. He creates a new calendar which includes such improvements as Leap Days and Leap Years to keep things exact. But in order to make the jump from the “Julian” calendar to the better “Gregorian” calendar, a one-time date adjustment is needed. So Gregor decrees that all of Christendom should advance the calendar by ten days, and in that year October 4th is immediately followed by October 15th! All of the Catholic countries immediately conform…

…but the Protestant countries, most notably England, refuse to obey the Pope and his black-calendar-magic. They stick with the older Julian calendar. Which means there are now two calendars in use in Europe, an odd and vexing reality which will persist for over a century. Meanwhile…

…February 11, 1731. George Washington is born in Virginia. And for the first 21 years of his life, he celebrates his birthday on that date. But then, in…

…1752, England and her colonies finally give in and make the jump from the Julian to the Gregorian calendar, and Wednesday, September 2 is immediately followed by Thursday, September 14. For Washington, he now has a decision to make: going forwards, should he celebrate his birthday on February 11 (old  Roman Julian date) or on February 22 (new Papal Gregorian date)? He prefers the 11th, but as he becomes famous, Americans who want to celebrate his birthday increasingly choose to do so on the later date, and by the time of Washington’s death, his birthday is generally observed on the 22nd. But then…

…February 12, 1809. Abraham Lincoln is born in Kentucky. He goes on to become the most polarizing figure in American history. After the Civil War and Lincoln’s death, the northern states start celebrating his birthday in February alongside Washington’s, and the southern states counter with “Lee Jackson Day” in January, celebrating the birthdays of Robert E. Lee (January 19) and Thomas ‘Stonewall’ Jackson (January 21). This odd and vexing reality of warring civil holidays lasts for about a century until…

…June 28, 1968, when Congress signs the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, which standardizes the dates of many holidays including Memorial Day, Labor Day and Columbus Day. In order to address the January/February holiday headache, Congress declares that, thenceforth, there would be one national holiday, on the third Monday in February, and it would be officially deemed, “Washington’s Birthday.” (Even as late as 1968 the southern states refused to give Lincoln equal billing). And that finally settles things.

But here’s the rub: The third Monday in February can be as early as the 15th, and as late as the 21st. Which means that, when it comes to honoring the father of our country, the most important American who ever lived, we NEVER celebrate his birthday on the date that he was actually born.

Either one of them.